Cold
by misguideddreamer
Summary: She's so cold. And now he's warming her up.


**A/N: Hi.:) First ever Nitchie songfic/oneshot whatever it should be called.;) Tell me what you think.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Camp Rock or Marisol by Emily Osment**

* * *

Cold.

Summary: She's cold. And he's warming her up.

* * *

_She kept her dreams inside, for so long, for so long. _

_

* * *

_She's so cold. The kind of cold that chills her to the bone, raising goose bumps up and down her body- she would put on a coat and hat if it'd help, but she doubts it will because it's the middle of August and anyway, it isn't that kind of cold.

She rocks herself back and forth on the dock, watching the still lake beneath her feet, and feels worthless. She's certain no one would mind if she drowned. Her feet were numb now, not pleasantly warmed by the heat of a summer's night like they should have been. The fireflies buzz around her, creating an air of melancholy peace. It had hurt to find out he'd been cheating on her- but she'd expected it for a while now. The disappearances with no explanation, the way he didn't seem to love her anymore. She puts her head in her hands and tries for a smile. It comes painfully, and her cheeks feel stiff, as if she's forgotten how to do it. She knew what was coming; the pain would arrive later, but right now, being in a trance suited her just fine. She already knew when she got involved with him that there was someone prettier and more perfect waiting for him, but blindly, she'd taken the risk. It was what she deserved.

Her fingers softly slip up the rips in her black jeans. She wasn't blonde, like her, or unique, and she was just tired. Tired of the world she lived in, tired that it didn't appreciate her (not that there was anything to appreciate), tired of life. She looks down at the murky, yet clear waters, and is startled by how much they resemble her brain at the moment. She wouldn't drown, but if she stayed in the water long enough, surely the serenity of death would be hers? The one thing she would regret if she killed herself today was that everyone would assume that she did it because of _him_. She may have done, but she didn't want to go down in history as the girl who was so obsessed with her boyfriend that she killed herself because she found out he was cheating on her. She fingers the rusty nails hammered into the wooden dock, and sighs. She was tired of being unique (apparently) and being singled out for being different to the others. A few tears escape from her eyes, and fall into the water, creating large ripples. If she took her life she'd be the centre of the ripple- it would spread until she was no more; but those who caused her grief would never be able to forget. It was her own idea of sick, twisted revenge really.

Her own 'friends' had started too, and she'd have to laugh alongside them, because what was she without them? They seemed to get pleasure from causing her pain- laughing at a girl in pain seemed to make their day. She squeezes her eyes tight shut and wills for the tears dripping down her face to disappear. She tries to help herself believe everything would be fine.

She held her face while she cried, told herself girl you'll be just fine

If anyone could see her now, they'd say she was hurting. She scoffs, because they didn't know real pain. The kind of pain she experienced so many times before. The kind of pain that felt like a punch in the stomach; every time he ditched her for his friends. Now she knew the truth, and she had to admit she felt freer than she'd felt in a while. He was the one who helped her enjoy these little notions of suicide and she felt cowardly, because the only reason she was contemplating this terrible, terrible, thing was because of the pain which would hit her sooner or later and send her flying off the cliff she was precariously balancing on at the moment.

She almost felt as if it'd been her who was cheating. She remembers the sidelong looks at his best friend, which lasted way too long to be more than quick glances. Guiltily, she remembers daydreaming about his hair, and having to snap herself out of it. She curses herself for pining after the unattainable. The tears of bitter hate and anger are spent, and she cries no more. All she can feel now is hopelessness. Slowly but surely, her feet edge towards the water.

She hits the water with her feet and an electric shock jolts through her body. She's such a. Coward. She scoffs and raises her body from the water, bringing her knees to her chest. Or maybe this a sign, that it's not her time to go yet? A slow, reluctant smile spreads across and she feels better at that thought. She hates feeling like this, like she's groping through the dark, only to find a dead end when she finishes her journey. She feels like collapsing and never getting up again, but something inside her always keeps her holding on, and even though she hates that, she also feels grateful in a twisted way.

Then again, she feels like something better is bound to happen to her, and rescue her from this rut in the road she's stuck in. Her eyes stretch out across the water, unseeing. She remembers how she felt coming here would help her achieve every single stupid dream she had. This summer just shattered all of that, killing almost of her hopes. Yet the optimist inside her keeps her hanging on and she both praises and condemns it for having that effect on her.

* * *

_She finds that all she needs is in her heart, she lifts up._

_

* * *

_The sounds of footsteps break the peaceful silence. Her head shoots upwards, and she stands up, spinning awkwardly on her heel to face whoever it was. She barely had time to breathe, before something threw itself into her arms, burying it's face in her hair.

Then she was hugging him, gripping him tightly. She was hugging the best friend of the guy who'd cheated on her, the one she'd always crushed on. So she pulls away first, because she isn't sure that she can control herself around him- if he carried on like this, she'd be a goner before the night was out. He holds her at arms length, examining the contours of her face before pulling her in again. Why does he have to make this so hard?

"I worried sick! Caity said you'd been gone for three hours! What were you doing?"

She blinks in surprise, and thinks before answering " Thinking." He doesn't know, and she isn't going to be the one that tells him. Hopefully.

"Lies."

"What? How would you know?" She is thrown off by his ability to know what she's thinking, and hopes she isn't really that easy to read. He shrugs and whispers into her ears, hot breath tickling her neck. "You won't look at me when you lie." She shivers slightly, warmth running up and down her body. His hands strayed and tucked a piece of loose hair behind her ear, though not before twirling it around in his hands. Electricity jolts up and down her spine, and she shudders again.

"Don't." He removes his hands, and immediately, she misses and craves the warmth that his body and hands provide. She sits, facing the water, bare feet dangling. She hears the dock creak as he takes his place next to her, and the sigh before he speaks. "I'm sorry. You're still going out with him." His voice is sexily rough, and she thinks she detects a hint of anger in it, but shakes her head to clear those ridiculous thoughts- how could someone like him, like her? It takes all of her strength not to lean in and kiss him, to run her hands through his hair, so she edges away till she hits the stump supporting the dock, ignoring the hurt look he gives her.

"So are you going to tell me what's really wrong?"

She shakes her head, and he just shuffles forward and encases her in his arms. She relishes his scent, musty and woody. She could feel all her senses on edge, but somehow her body relaxes. Her head was on his shoulder, and she could feel the constant thuds of his heart. His hands went back to playing with her hair, and this time, she didn't lift a finger in complaint. Unspoken words hung in the air for her, and her hands started to get clammy. She felt like she was cheating on the cheater. Still, she could feel her resolve crumbling- she just wanted to _tell_ someone.

"He cheated on me." Her hands clamp over her mouth and she looks around in shock, and then keeps her eyes fixated on the floor. A rough finger pulls her chin upwards to face him and her heart starts to beat so fast she thinks at least half of the one billion heartbeats were used up.

* * *

_There's nowhere left to hide, she's held on, for so long._

_

* * *

_His eyes question her, and now she's stuck in a mess and there's only way to get out of it.

"What don't you understand? ..Tess. I should've known. I'm not good enough for him. I'm not pretty and I don't know how to flirt or give him what he wants. I just…I just feel so damn stupid."

His hand keeps her face in place, and his eyes flash with anger. The warm, comforting chocolate, which seems to have melted into his eyes is gone, and the orbs of hardened dark brown (almost black) have replaced them. She can feel the tears beginning to form in her eyes. Stupid weak girl. He raises the pads of his thumbs to her face and wipes them away, his face and voice softening as she sniffs.

" Hey listen. You're amazing. You're gorgeous in a way she will never be and any guy who doesn't see that is stupid. Anyone would be lucky to date you. So don't ever-" She cuts him off by kissing him a gentle peck to the lips that seems to imply she wants more, and is greeted by the shell shocked expression of his face. It says all she needs to know, and before he has a chance to react, she is off down the dock, walking fast. All that runs through her head is that she's just ruined possibly the most amazing friendship she ever had.

She is halfway down the dock that seems to stretch for miles when his fingers curl around her wrist. Boys just had to be faster, didn't they? He reels her in with his wrist, until she hits his back, and then spins her round to face him. She stares at her bare feet, wishing the ground would just swallow her up. His arm snakes around her waist and she feels like wrenching away from his grip. Was this all a joke to him? His hand guides her face upwards, and without warning, he slams his lips into hers, sparks flying in her body from the tips of her toes to the top of her head.

She pulls away first, lack of oxygen and unanswered questions catching up to her.

"Wow." Is all she can say and he chuckles softly, and then leans in again. She shakes her head, leaning as far backwards as the arm around her waist will allow her to.

"Wha-at?" He whines and pouts, and she laughs breathlessly because her stomach is doing summersaults for joy inside her.

"So you like me?"

"Well, duh."

"Really?" She doesn't think she's ever been this happy, not even with him.

"Shut up." Is all he says, and kisses her. Again. And again. And again.

* * *

_She picks up all the scattered pieces of her life, she lifts up. _


End file.
